The PERCY JACKSON unit Owner's Manual
by IamTheRaven
Summary: Every one of our PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS units comes with an OWNERS MANUAL. Enjoy! This is a fanfiction tradition, not my idea. Enjoy, RandR, flame, who cares. Report if you really think its against the TOS, but I tell you, it's a tradition.
1. Annabeth Chase

(Okay I changed this into a chapter story. I will change the title each time to the latest chapter.

So now here is the Annabeth Chase, Thalia Grace, Mary Sue, and Percy Jackson units. More are coming!

Veritas; This is not my idea, and if anyone says this story is against the Terms of Service, this is a long going fan fiction tradition: to make owners manuals for characters. I was really surprised they haven't been done for a lot of the Percy Jackson characters.

I do not own Percy Jackson.

I do not own the "User Manual," idea. That belongs to Theresa Green.

Thanks a lot, and remember, this is not my real writing, this is just for kicks.)

User Manual:

Product information

Unit: ANNABETH CHASE

Age: Depends on set. In current set, THE LAST OLYMPIAN set, 16.

Height: Not relevant.

Weight: Our ANNABETH CHASE units would revolt if we told you.

Serial #: 48370283703

Accessories

This unit comes with the following:

3 Camp Half Blood T-Shirts

1 Cap of invisibility

1 Journal

1 SPF 1000 sunscreen

2 pairs of Jeans

1 bar of lemon soap

2 suits of Greek Battle armor

Settings

Your ANNABETH CHASE unit comes with several modes:

Angry

Careful. Your ANNABETH CHASE unit is most prone to the "angry" setting. You will especially activate it if your PERCY JACKSON unit is near it and set to his "stupid," or "clueless" setting. Your CLARISSE LARUE unit will also most likely make your ANNABETH CHASE unit angry. The POSEIDON unit, the RACHEL DARE unit, the CALYPSO unit, and ETHAN NAKAMURA unit will also make your ANNABETH CHASE unit angry.

Upset

Be sure that you keep your ANNABETH CHASE unit away from the PERCY JACKSON unit if he has been visiting the CALYPSO or the RACHEL DARE unit recently, unless you want to activate the "upset," setting in your ANNABETH CHASE unit. Also, the ANNABETH CHASE unit is very unsure of her emotion towards the LUKE CASTELLAN unit, so it's best to just keep your ANNABETH CHASE unit away from the LUKE CASTELLAN unit.

Annoying

Be sure you do not mention any works of architecture around your ANNABETH CHASE unit, and do not take her to any national monuments, or she will start spurting random facts and talk about facades in her "annoying" setting. That is, unless you like random facts.

Strategist

Your ANNABETH CHASE unit is an excellent strategist. She will use this setting if you ask her to. If you need to plan a battle or quest, or can't figure out your math homework, the ANNABETH CHASE unit will be glad to help you. Careful, she'll switch from the "Strategist" setting to the "angry" setting if you ask her to actually do your homework for you.

Restless

All of our the units in our Demigod set, which is in our larger set, the PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS set, come with this setting, due to having serious ADD. Your ANNABETH CHASE unit is not nearly as bad as most units, however.

Uses

Your ANNABETH CHASE unit can be very helpful if you do not activate her "angry" setting.

Here are some of her most popular functions:

Homework Helper

As stated before, just be sure not to ask your unit to actually do your homework.

Battle Strategist

Haven't won "Capture the Flag," in a while? Your ANNABETH CHASE unit will lead you to victory! Unless you're really bad.

Leader

Can't get your troops to get off their butts? Activate your ANNABETH CHASE unit's angry setting then lock her in a room with them. The work you need to get done will get done.

Inspector

The ANNABETH CHASE unit is a very fair cabin inspector, but prefers to have the PERCY JACKSON unit near her while completing this task.

Interactions

It is important to understand your units reactions to other units so that you do not wind up losing your ANNABETH CHASE unit or any other unit to to decapitation.

PERCY JACKSON unit

Due to the flimsy emotional nature of the ANNABETH CHASE unit, you can't be sure how the ANNABETH CHASE unit will react to the PERCY JACKSON unit. However, if the PERCY JACKSON unit is set to "stupid," or "clueless," keep your ANNABETH CHASE unit away from the PERCY JACKSON unit. However, the ANNABETH CHASE UNIT usually enjoys the PERCY JACKSON unit and will usually be friendly towards it. She may even give it a smooch. Careful, too much of this action may damage your PERCY JACKSON unit due to overheating.

RACHEL DARE unit

The ANNABETH CHASE unit will hate your RACHEL DARE unit unless your ANNABETH CHASE unit has entered a romantic relationship with your PERCY JACKSON unit. If she has, they will be friends. Otherwise, avoid the RACHEL DARE unit at all costs.

THALIA GRACE unit

The ANNABETH CHASE unit really likes the THALIA GRACE unit. Be sure to expose your unit to the THALIA GRACE unit often.

NICO DiANGELO unit

The ANNABETH CHASE unit doesn't really like or hate the NICO DiANGELO unit. Exposing your unit to the NICO DiANGELO unit is harmless.

CLARISSE LARUE

Unless they are planning a quest together, try to avoid interactions between your unit and the CLARISSE LARUE unit. This will activate its "angry" setting.

CHIRON unit

The CHIRON unit is like a father to the ANNABETH CHASE unit, so be sure to keep your unit near one of these.

DIONYSUS unit

While it is not beneficial for the ANNABETH CHASE unit to be near the DIONYSUS unit, it is beneficial for the rest of your units in the Demigod set for the ANNABETH CHASE unit to be around the DIONYSUS unit, because she can persuade him occasionally not to do something stupid, though not often.

ATHENA unit

The ATHENA unit is the mother of the ANNABETH CHASE unit, but if you don't want the ATHENA unit to be damaged by the ZEUS unit, make sure not to expose her to the ANNABETH CHASE unit too often and let her interfere in her child's life.

Also: You may be lax with this. The ATHENA unit is the ZEUS unit's favorite unit in the GODS set, so he will be lenient on her if she interacts with the ANNABETH CHASE unit too much.

Cleaning:

The ANNABETH CHASE unit is capable of cleaning itself. However, you may need to remind it if it is worried or busy to wash up.

FAQs

Q: My ANNABETH CHASE unit is annoying me and harassing my PERCY JACKSON unit. What should I do?

A: You must not be a Percabeth fan. It is recommended you give the two units time apart or return the ANNABETH CHASE unit and order a CALYPSO unit. If you were annoyed by the ANNABETH CHASE unit, we really don't recommend ordering a RACHEL DARE unit. The CALYPSO unit is calmer.

Q: I sent my ANNABETH CHASE unit on a quest and she didn't come back. What happened?

A: You moron. Did you not send the PERCY JACKSON unit with her? She probably saw the Sirens and was eaten. Order a replacement immediately or the PERCY JACKSON unit may destroy itself.

Q: I received a strange unit that only came with battle armor, has grey eyes, and brown hair. Is this my ANNABETH CHASE unit? My friends' look different.

A: Whoops. You have received the ATHENA unit. You can keep her or exchange her.

Q: My PERCY JACKSON unit won't do what he's told anymore. Does this have anything to do with my ANNABETH CHASE unit?

A: He may have either:

experienced overheating due to the ANNABETH CHASE romantic advances

Been angered by the DIONYSUS unit

If it's option one, remove the two units from each other for a few days.

Q: My ANNABETH CHASE unit is angry because it keeps reading really dumb OOC fics about herself on .

A:...That can't be helped. Disconnect your internet and order a "Daedalus' laptop" accessory to give her something better to do with her time.

Troubleshooting:

If your ANNABETH CHASE UNIT makes your PERCY JACKSON unit dysfunctional, reset her and she will dislike him again. This may make the problem worse, however, so we recommend resetting your PERCY JACKSON unit as well. However, he will become entirely stupid again and you will have to re-educate him on Demigod terminology. In that case, your ANNABETH CHASE unit will be happy to help, or your GROVER UNDERWOOD unit.

Warranty:

If properly cared for, your ANNABETH CHASE unit should live a fairly long and prosperous life, up to age 30. Most of our Demigod units do not last longer than age 22. If you keep the PERCY JACKSON unit and he ends the war of the Titans, your life expectancy may be boosted to 40. If you really can't stand your ANNABETH CHASE unit, dump a box of Tarantulas on her bed, and in the morning, she'll be gone.

Enjoy!

No refunds unless damaged on arrival.

(A/N haha. Review?)


	2. Thalia Grace

(A/N Well, I got really positive feedback for "The Annabeth Chase Unit," so I think I will continue on. I had done it just for fun but now I will do all your favorite characters.

Veritas: This is not my real writing, just for fun!

And if you think this is against the TOS, this has long been a fanfiction tradition since 2001, so please understand, but flame or report if it bothers you that much. Veritas are allowed to laugh too, you know. :D

Disclaimers:

I do not own the Percy Jackson series. (Duh)

I do not own the "Owner's manual," idea. It's a tradition started by Theresa Green.

And now; enjoy!)

Owner's Manual: The THALIA GRACE unit.

Congrats! You are now the proud owner of your very own THALIA GRACE unit.

General Product Information;

Unit: THALIA GRACE

Age: Varies depending on Pine Tree years and Set. In LAST OLYMPIAN set, 15.

Height: Taller than the PERCY JACKSON unit.

(Warning: do not mention this to your PERCY JACKSON unit. It will activate his "angry" setting)

Weight: Do you want an arrow in your back? Classified information.

Serial # : 4628-5489-8389

Caution: The THALIA GRACE unit will be very upset if she is not with several hunter units. If you were stupid and did not read the catalog warning, we recommend ordering an ARTEMIS unit and several HUNTER units right away. If you do not want to spend the money, we recommend exchanging or getting rid of the THALIA GRACE unit. Keep her at your own risk*.

Accessories:

The THALIA GRACE unit comes with the following:

1 Shield of Aegis*

2 Hunter outfits

1 Death to Barbie T-Shirt

42 cases of eyeliner

1 leftenant of ARTEMIS circlet

3 pairs of pants

Settings:

The THALIA GRACE unit comes with several modes:

Sarcastic

This is the THALIA GRACE unit's default setting. Keeping her around the PERCY JACKSON unit will most definitely switch her to this setting.

Pissed

Careful! The THALIA GRACE unit quickly switches from the "Sarcastic" setting to the "Pissed" setting. The PERCY JACKSON unit also can easily cause your unit to become pissed. Also, be sure to keep the ZOE NIGHTSHADE unit away from your unit if you don't like to see the "pissed" setting activated.

Flushed

If you ordered your THALIA GRACE unit from the, "The Titans Curse," set, your THALIA GRACE unit may become flushed around the APOLLO unit*. She will also become flushed if she talks about the LUKE CASTELLAN unit, but once she sees him, she will quickly switch to the "Pissed" setting and try to decapitate your LUKE CASTELLAN unit. This is not recommended.

Sincere

This is a rare setting for the THALIA GRACE unit, but she will often switch to this mode if placed near the ANNABETH CHASE unit. If you ordered the LIL' THALIA GRACE unit from THE FOUR LIL' HOBOS set, she will also react this way towards the LIL' GROVER, LIL' ANNABETH CHASE, and LIL' LUKE CASTELLAN units. She may or may not react this way towards the ZEUS unit. Your THALIA GRACE unit's modes are very unpredictable.

Restless

Every unit in the "Demigod" set, which is part of a larger set, the "PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS" series has this mode due to a manufacturing error called ADD. Don't worry, this malfunction is harmless, just annoying. The THALIA GRACE unit is very prone to this setting. She will often want to leave your house, so be sure to allow her. She will return.

Uses:

Your THALIA GRACE unit is very independent and probably won't listen to you, but if you get the ARTEMIS unit to ask her, she'll be more obedient. However, she still has some uses:

Butt-Kicker

If there's someone you hate, most likely you can get your THALIA GRACE unit and your ANNABETH CHASE unit worked up and they will hunt them down. Please do not vent your anger this way on the PERCY JACKSON unit; he won't be happy about it and it's bad for his health and shelf life.

Battle Back Up

If you are really stuck in a battle and sure to certain doom, your THALIA GRACE unit will be glad to assist you, and she will rouse up her HUNTER units, if you bought any. (Told you not to be so cheap...Yeah, your reading this now, aren't you, while you're surrounded by thousands of Gremlins? Well, your THALIA GRACE unit needs HUNTER units to be effective. Try your NICO DiANGELO unit or CLARISSE LARUE unit, or better yet, your PERCY JACKSON unit.)

Hunter Recruitment:

Did a guy make you mad? Are you diagnosed with terminal cancer? Well, your THALIA GRACE unit will be happy to enlist you in the Hunters and give you immortal life...

If you are female. If you are male, you are screwed.

Headache maker:

Your THALIA GRACE unit will be happy to annoy anyone by playing loud Punk Rock at the top volume possible. A great unit for vengeance.

Cleaning;

The THALIA GRACE unit knows how to clean itself, no worries. If she forgets, press the reset button.

Do not dry clean. Do not tumble wash. Do not wash in same machine as PERCY JACKSON unit. This could cause severe "bleeding" in your PERCY JACKSON unit.

Do not hang to dry on clothesline. The OneCharacterCompany Inc. Is not responsible for any damage caused to client if your THALIA GRACE unit axe murders you for hanging her on a clothesline. If it is too late and you are reading this while she's writhing on the clothesline, you have two options:

A, Apologize if you are the cheap type and don't want to relocate. Warning: this action is a life threatening hazard. Perform at your own risk.

B, Run, run away!

Interactions:

It is important that you understand the THALIA GRACE unit's interactions with other units to avoid unnecessary decapitations.

PERCY JACKSON Unit

Your THALIA GRACE unit is fairly friendly towards the PERCY JACKSON unit, but be sure not to leave them together too long or you may activate the "angry" setting in your PERCY JACKSON unit and the "pissed" setting in your THALIA GRACE unit.

ANNABETH CHASE unit

Your THALIA GRACE unit really likes the ANNABETH CHASE unit. Be sure to have one in case your THALIA GRACE gets angered or irked.

ARTEMIS unit

Your THALIA GRACE unit obeys the ARTEMIS unit. If you want better control over your THALIA GRACE unit, be sure to order an ARTEMIS unit and befriend it.

ZOE NIGHTSHADE unit

Keep the ZOE NIGHTSHADE unit away from your THALIA GRACE unit at all costs! No if ands or buts! The health of all your other units depends on it!

FAQ's

Q: My THALIA GRACE unit disappeared for three months. What happened?

A: She either is very busy, or she ran away because you didn't provide an ARTEMIS unit. Tsk Tsk.

Q: My LIL' THALIA GRACE unit disappeared. What happened?

A: Check your yard for brand new pine trees. If you see one, order a PERCY JACKSON unit, an ANNABETH CHASE unit, a CLARISSE LARUE unit, and a GROVER UNDERWOOD unit to rescue a golden fleece and your THALIA GRACE unit will be back to normal again in no time.

Q: I think I saw cuts on my THALIA GRACE unit's wrists. Is she Emo?

A: You didn't get her an ARTEMIS unit, did you? Now she's bored. We recommend ordering one right away. If it can't be helped, order a NICO DiANGELO unit to keep her company. We are unsure if she is completely Emo.

Q: I can't stand Greenday. What should I do?

A: Get rid of your THALIA GRACE unit. You can't take Greenday away from her.

Q:My THALIA GRACE unit has been damaging my property because she keeps reading OOC fics about herself on FF. Help!

A: There is nothing you can do except disconnect your Internet and for the gazillionth time, order an ARTEMIS unit to keep her from doing destructive or wasteful things with her time! We are not responsible for damaged property.

Troubleshooting:

Your THALIA GRACE unit is hard to keep. Suck it up.

Warranty

If cared for properly, your THALIA GRACE unit will live...well, forever. If, however, you find you can no longer keep her, sneak into the PERCY JACKON unit's room while it is recharging its batteries, and place it next to the sleeping THALIA GRACE unit and she will be gone by morning. However, your PERCY JACKSON unit may be destroyed and your house flooded and electrocuted. Unfortunately, the only other way to get your unit to leave is to get Jesse McCartney to move in with you, and this is only slightly more difficult than moving your dormant PERVY whoops PERCY JACKSON unit next to your unit. (Please be gentle. The PERCY JACKSON unit tends to be frequently abused) You shoulda thought of that before you bought a THALIA GRACE unit, dummy.

No refunds unless damaged on arrival!

Enjoy!

Cautions:

*#1The THALIA GRACE unit is very powerful and violent, and is therefore not appropriate for small children. By buying this product, you are certifying that you understand the risks and that the OneCharacterCompany Inc. Is not responsible for any deaths or injuries caused by the THALIA GRACE unit.

*#2 The Shield of Aegis is also life threatening. Keep away from small children. If necessary, you may borrow it for battle, but this is also life threatening if your THALIA GRACE unit finds out you stole...erm...borrowed it.

*#3 The THALIA GRACE should not be used to operate machinery as she is a horrible driver. The same goes for the Sun Chariot.

Other warnings: Collectible bows and arrows are choking hazards. Hire a good repairman; your THALIA GRACE unit's electric nature will often cause your electronic devices to short circuit and malfunction.

COMING SOON!

Don't miss the next unit in our series, coming soon; be sure to pre-order! Ladies and gentlemen, we announce the one you've all been waiting for; the PERCY JACKSON unit!

Need a good plumber?

Is your ANNABETH CHASE unit boring you?

Too cheap to scuba dive?

Need a hottie in the house?

Pre Order your PERCY JACKSON unit now! Coming soon!

(Lol! Should I continue? I think I will. I may even make a Mary Sue unit! I don't want to do Nico DiAngelo or Ethan Nakamura units cause someone already did them. If you guys really want one, I will ask the author's permission.)


	3. Percy Jackson

(Wow. I never have had reviews like this. So, on with the series. I apologize fans of my other fics; updates are coming soon!

Veritas: this is not my real writing, it's just for kicks! If you think it's against the TOS, this had long been a fanfic tradition, and there usually is at least one of these kinds of stories in every popular fandom. Just for laughs.

Veritas can laugh too, you know :D.

And, I'm gonna do a Mary Sue unit! That will make Veritas people laugh.

Everyone else, enjoy:

Disclaimers:

I do not own Percy Jackson

I do not own the "Owners Manual" Idea. That belongs to Theresa Green.)

Owner's manual: the PERCY JACKSON unit.

Congrats! You have successfully purchased the protagonist of our set of units, the PERCY JACKSON unit! You won't regret your purchase, guaranteed and if not, we still won't refund your money.

Product Information:

Unit: PERCY JACKSON

Height: Shorter than the THALIA GRACE unit

(warning: don't mention this to your PERCY JACKSON unit; it will activate his angry setting)

Weight: Insufficient data

Serial #: 047297291

Warning: Please don't try to traumatize your PERCY JACKSON unit. He is very abused in FF and we are scared of what will happen if you are his master. Leave it at that. Your PERCY JACKSON unit should be treated the way you want to be treated. Actually, scratch that. Treat him the way HE wants to be treated. I don't want to know how you want to be treated.

Settings

The PERCY JACKSON unit comes with many special modes and settings:

Stupid

Do not mistake this setting for the "clueless" setting. This setting only appears when your PERCY JACKSON unit is attempting schoolwork or conversing about the RACHEL DARE unit to the ANNABETH CHASE unit. Talk about stupidity!

This may also appear if his friends are threatened. See, "loyalty" mode.

Clueless

This is the default setting of the PERCY JACKSON unit. He will be clueless about Demigod terminology when you first take him out of the box, so make sure you have a GROVER UNDERWOOD unit or ANNABETH CHASE unit to explain things to him. It will probably take him at least three years before he knows as much about Greek Mythology as you do. Also; this mode may be activated when feelings are being displayed by the ANNABETH CHASE unit. If your PERCY JACKSON unit is indeed clueless during the ANNABETH CHASE unit's flashy display, your ANNABETH CHASE unit will switch to the "upset" mode. Avoid this at all costs.

Angry

The PERCY JACKSON unit is pretty well tempered but can be angered by the ANNABETH CHASE units' flimsy emotional outbursts. He will always make it up to her, though. The PERCY JACKSON unit is easily angered by the DIONYSUS and ARES units as well. Keep your PERCY JACKSON unit away from these units at all costs.

Embarrassed

The PERCY JACKSON unit is easily embarrassed. This happens shortly after someone points out he has been in stupidity mode for a while, or when he understands that the ANNABETH CHASE unit is making a flashy display. This also can be triggered by exposing your PERCY JACKSON unit to a computer if he finds all the...interesting stories about him and the ARTEMIS unit on FF, as well as some others.

Loyal

The Fatal flaw of the PERCY JACKSON unit is loyalty towards other units. He was programmed incorrectly and instead of having built-in self preservation, he will stupidly try to save anyone no matter how hopeless the situation. This makes the PERCY JACKSON unit very lovable to many other units, as well as disposing him to the fate of fangirls. (Warning: keep your PERCY JACKSON unit away from fangirls or he will feint from fright) However, be cautious! As admirable as this setting is, it makes your PERCY JACKSON unit much more susceptible to accidentally getting killed.

(This happens frequently. We included reorder forms in case)

Restless

All of our units in the DEMIGOD set, which is part of a larger set, the PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS series, have this setting. Careful, if your PERCY JACKSON unit starts to get bored, this setting will be activated, and he may damage your property.

Uses

Last Minute Prom Date

Your PERCY JACKSON unit will blush and stutter and switch to the "embarrassed" mode if you ask him to do this (no, don't scream "oh you're so cute!" when he does this or it may anger him. If you have an urge to do this, you are most likely a fangirl so return your PERCY JACKSON unit right away), but he will reluctantly agree. Careful, if his identity is revealed he may be taken away from you by force from fangirl attacks. He is a perfectly acceptable Prom Date however, just be sure that you sent the ANNABETH CHASE unit on an errand that night and don't make a habit of asking your PERCY JACKSON unit out, or you may suffer serious injuries or even death from your ANNABETH CHASE unit. If your PERCY JACKSON unit sees the ANNABETH CHASE unit, he will dump you himself. Please try to refrain from using this feature unless you are female.

Sword Combatant

Suck at fencing in gym? Your PERCY JACKSON unit can disguise himself behind the heavy equipment and he will kick everyone's butt! Always bet your money on the PERCY JACKSON unit in a sword combat, but do not do this in archery combat. If your LUKE CASTELLAN unit fights your PERCY JACKSON unit, don't bet any money.

Entertainment

Careful: everyone, mainly the units in your GODS set, especially the APHRODITE unit, will use this function of the PERCY JACKSON unit whether you like it or not! If you are a fangirl, please return him instead of overusing this function. It will most certainly activate if you send your PERCY JACKSON, ANNABETH CHASE, RACHEL DARE, and CALYPSO units to a deserted island. We recommend just ordering the ANNABETH CHASE unit for entertainment: one is enough, give your PERCY JACKSON unit a break.

Driver

As long as there are no PEGASI units around, your PERCY JACKSON unit is an awesome chauffeur. Don't try to show him off though or the car may get maimed by fangirls.

Plumber

Due to the ability of being able to move water with his mind, your PERCY JACKSON unit is an excellent plumber.

Cleaning:

The PERCY JACKSON unit is the best at keeping himself clean and is completely water proof. Be sure to dunk him in a lake or bath once a week to keep up his energy (his clothes should stay on when doing this). You won't even have to charge his batteries if you do this! Do not wash in the same machine as the THALIA GRACE unit. This will cause severe "bleeding" in your PERCY JACKSON unit. You can try washing it with your ANNABETH CHASE unit and see what happens. This will activate the "entertainment" setting. Do not hang out to dry. He already feels like that a lot without you physically hanging him up to dry.

FAQ's

Q: I'm not happy with the romantic relationship between my ANNABETH CHASE unit and my PERCY JACKSON unit. How can I spice things up without being cruel?

A: Throw the two of them in a lake and have CAMPER units waiting for them at the surface. That ought to get it on.

Q: I just wanted to thank you guys for my PERCY JACKSON unit! He's more handsome than all the other PERCY JACKSON units and has these bright blue eyes, plus he's such a flirt! I love him, thanks!

A: AUGUGHGHGH! How on earth did you get your hands on the LOGAN LERMAN unit? Return him at once! He hasn't been properly tested yet!

Q: The house keeps being swarmed by fangirls? HELP ME!

A: We told you to keep your PERCY JACKSON unit a secret... However, tell all the fangirls that Logan Lerman is doing an autograph signing across the street, and they will all leave. The remaining fangirls who don't care about Logan Lerman are probably decent people, so hide your PERCY JACKSON unit in the laundry room (don't hide him in the bedroom-that's the first place they would look) invite the fangirls in and feed them ambrosia if you really want to be rid of them. If you aren't this cruel, discuss whether or not Luke Castellan was truly evil to run away, and while the fangirls are fighting about this, let your PERCY JACKSON unit escape to a nearby NICO DiANGELO unit where he will swiftly shadow travel to Camp Half Blood.

Q: My PERCY JACKSON unit spends all his time with my ANNABETH CHASE unit and they won't do what they're told. Help!

A: Haven't you heard of young love? Nothing can fix this. Unless you are super cruel- if you are, press the reset button on your units and make sure they never see each other again. Make sure the PERCY JACKSON unit never sees a RACHEL DARE or CALYPSO unit either to avoid similar results.

Troubleshooting:

If you are experiencing serious flooding, this is due to the PERCY JACKSON unit having bad dreams. Ask him to fix it and he will, then give him some knockout drops before bedtime so he goes out cold.

If your school is currently in flames, try not to bring the PERCY JACKSON unit to your next school. He has a habit of destroying every school he finds. Only bring him in for emergency fencing tournaments.

Warranty

When properly cared for, your PERCY JACKSON unit will live a long and prosperous life, up to 25 years. If you order an ANNABETH CHASE unit and they marry each other, this will either seriously shorten the PERCY JACKSON unit's life expectancy or it could possibly increase it. You take the risk. We do not accept refunds unless you have discovered you are a fangirl, in which case we will gladly take your PERCY JACKSON unit back.

COMING SOON!

Are all your units too happy? Is their happiness sickening you and you want to wreck it or teach them a lesson? Well then, order a MARY SUE unit! Guaranteed to piss off all your units! Enjoy, and coming soon.

(Lol. Review? Please? Which one should come after the MARY SUE unit? I will ask about the NICO DiANGELO one!)


	4. Mary Sue Unit

(AN

Sorry to keep everybody waiting. I am writing my first novella and I have been busy.

So; here it is! Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimers;

)

_**THE MARY SUE UNIT**_

Congratulations! I think... You have just purchased your MARY SUE unit. We are honored you bought one from us because you can get them for free on almost any PJO FF fic. But we ensure to give you maximum annoyance out of our MARY SUE unit.

**PRODUCT INFORMATION**

**Name: **Ms. Mary Sue

**Age: **Usually in the teens, originally 15

**Place of Manufacture: **The Star Trek fandom, creator is Paula Smith. Originally Young Ensign Mary Sue.

**SETTINGS;** It is important to know your MARY SUE unit's settings so you will know how to use her properly. Careful, if you don't use the MARY SUE unit properly you could suffer serious harm*.

**Charmer**

Your MARY SUE unit is extremely charming and beautiful in a cheesy way. If you put her near any of your male units, beware; they will most likely fall madly in love with her no matter what the circumstance.

**OOC Machine**

Your MARY SUE unit will make most of your other units dysfunctional and they will all start losing their personalities, and their settings and uses will change. Good for screwing up your neighbor's units if they are bothering you.

**Vocalist**

Your MARY SUE unit has a gorgeous voice! She will put anyone who listens to her in a trance. Good for hypnosis.

**Annoying **

You can't turn this feature off. Sorry.

*Warning: The OneCharacterCompany Inc. Is not responsible to any damages to personal property, any injuries or bodily harm, or any fatalities your MARY SUE unit may cause.

**USES**

Your Mary Sue unit has many helpful and not so helpful uses. Here are just a few.

**Seductress**

Do you just NOT like Annabeth and you want to make her life miserable? Just put your MARY SUE unit next to your PERCY JACKSON unit and watch the miracles happen!

**Un-friender**

Hate someone on Facebook? Just put your MARY SUE unit near them and you will royally piss them off. They will un friend you immediately.

**Character Changer**

Wish your PERCY JACKSON unit was more of a flirt? Or just don't like your unit's characters in general? Then put the MARY SUE unit near your units and they will become completely OOC!

**Pincushion**

Your MARY SUE unit is the perfect unit to take out your frustrations on. Invite people to watch and make popcorn.

**INTERACTIONS**

Unlike our other units, the interactions between your MARY SUE unit and your other units are nearly universal. But here's a guide anyway.

**PERCY JACKSON UNIT**

Your Percy Jackson unit will go beserk and fall madly in love with your MARY SUE unit. He will never function properly again.

**ANNABETH CHASE UNIT**

You got a real good unit if she pisses the ANNABETH CHASE unit off.

**NICO DiANGELO UNIT**

WARNING! Your NICO DiANGELO unit is _extremely _susceptible to the MARY SUE unit.

His reactions will be similar to the PERCY JACKSON unit's, except much, much worse.

**ALL OTHER UNITS**

All your other units will completely despise and boo your MARY SUE unit and will probably destroy it. Not that that's a bad thing.

**CLEANING**

...

**TROUBLESHOOTING**

MARY SUE units are the cause of trouble.

If you didn't want trouble, why the heck did you order one, idiot?

**FAQ's**

Q: All my male units have abandoned their partners and are murdering each other. Does this have anything to do with my MARY SUE unit?

A: Um, hello? Did you even _read _the manual? Of course!

Q: My MARY SUE unit is driving me crazy, but I don't want to just get rid of it; I want to murder it. Is this legal?

A: Entirely. Be sure to stab it, maim it, pin it against the wall, use as a dartboard...

Q: Can I ship her back to Captain Kirk?

A: Uh, no, Captain Kirk doesn't appreciate that, and Spock is sick of having to throw them into space so that they explode from pressure differences. Don't blame Kirk, it's not his fault, it's Paula Smith's. Besides, the flat rates for starships are WAY overpriced.

**WARRANTY**

The MARY SUE unit should live happily as long as you feed it and live a long and prosperous life (due to Spock accidentally telling her to do this once, he forever regretted it) but there is no guarantee your other units will live long and prosperous lives.

(AN

Yay, I did it. Okay, I have already done the Annabeth Chase, Thalia Grace, Percy Jackson, and Mary Sue units. I have PMd the author of the Nico DiAngelo for permission but there is no answer. So I'll just make one, it's not like HE has special rights or anything. Sorry this took so long.)


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